VI:	A podcast by the Intergalactic Improv Initiative.

KAYA:	Dangerous Dangers, Episode One: Incognito is My Middle Name. 
	Featuring the voices of Alanya Campbell, Tiff Compton, Amanda Cotter, Lea Lawson, Dan Spitaliere, and creator Kaya Renwick.

	The Reapers are gone… but the adventure is just beginning. I Should Roll.

VI:	January 19, 2189, Terran Universal Coordinated Calendar. The Citadel, Widow System, Serpent Nebula. Kithoi Ward, Silversun Strip. Silver Coast Casino.

KAYA:	Welcome to the first recording session of the I Should Roll 2189 campaign. I hope y’all are excited, ‘cause I’m fuckin’ stoked. [laughs] We will open with Jesse.

DAN:	Oh no.

KAYA:	Jesse, it has been an unfruitful day for you. You found a few things and then the trail went cold. We come upon you in the Silver Coast Casino. Give the listeners a brief introduction as to what we’re seeing and what Jesse is doing.

DAN:	Jesse is an N7 Alliance Marine, who is currently on shore leave and was invited by a recent assignment to join them at the casino to celebrate the first night of this uh, time off. He’s six feet tall, about two-ten [210 lbs], he’s got short, black hair that can kind of floof up or be kinda be styled down depending on whether he’s been wearing a helmet or not. Right now he’s in like, some nice, but casual clothes. Doesn’t have to be, not gonna be in his military dress. But he’s got a full beard and he also looks as if he’s been like, recently getting into weight lifting, so he’s kinda like mid-transformation on building up bulk. Beyond that, that’s basically what he looks like. 

Um, what is he doing in a casino? Well. He’s a little bit awkward around the rest of the people who he’s serving with because he was only recently assigned to this post, so he doesn’t really know anybody, um, extremely well and that nervousness is kind of expanding out to the area of the casino. I feel like he’s probably watching some people play the various games but maybe not participating himself right now. What would be the wha— the, like, blackjack equivalent in this—

TIFF:	Dan, it’s uh—Quasar is what you were thinking of. Quasar.

DAN:	Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah.

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

KAYA:	Oh yes, that’s what it is. Yes. Thank you Tiff! Yes, Quasar. Quasar, yeap. So you’re hanging out with people, are you talking to anyone, are you just watching?

DAN:	I think there’s like, an inquisitiveness about trying to learn the game and get better at it, so he’s not really playing but he’s observing and like, probably annoying at least one person being like, “Hey why’d you play that way? Why’d you do that?”

KAYA:	As you are investigating the game of Quasar, you spot on one of the back walls, a poster on the wall— or, well, it’s a holographic poster. The poster advertises… Clouseau, what is your detective agency called?

AMANDA:	My detective agency is called ‘Clues by Clous’.

LEA:	[laughs]

KAYA:	So there is— on this holographic poster, an elcor, wearing a pink hat, and with wonderful— I’m imagining like, ‘graphic design is my passion’ word art—

EVERYONE:	[overlapping laughs]

KAYA:	‘Clues by Clous’, with a big arrow pointing to, what you’re pretty sure is like, the maintenance area of the casino.

DAN:	Oh it’s in the casino?

KAYA:	Yes, it’s definitely pointing that way.

DAN:	Is— which clue is first? Is it your name first or clues first?

AMANDA:	Clues, uh, the E-S first.

DAN:	Okay.

AMANDA:	Thank you for clarifying.

DAN:	Yeah, alright! Ah, yeah, I mean, I’m gonna go check that out.

KAYA:	Okay! So you, follow, you excuse yourself from your crewmates and follow this holographic poster into the back rooms of the casino. Can you give me a Stealth roll? ‘Cause you are technically going into restricted areas.

DAN:	Yeah, sure.

LEA:	First roll guys!

DAN:	Uh that— that’s a ten!

KAYA:	The guard who’s nearby kinda gives you a weird look and puts out his han— so it’s a turian man, he puts out his hand to stop you and says,

GUARD:	That’s the maintenance closet, my guy. You want the— the Quasar table, dontcha?

JESSE:	Uh, the sign though, it was, did you not see that sign? Is that not official?

KAYA:	He looks at the sign and visibly heaves this incredibly exasperated, long suffering sigh.

DAN:	[laughs]

GUARD:	Ohh... Alright. Go ahead.

JESSE:	Thanks!

KAYA:	And he waves you by.

DAN:	Eyoszh, I just walk right by him, I guess.

KAYA:	Yep! Okay, so you’re in the back rooms of the Silver Coast Casino. You see there’s like little holographic arrows just every few feet along the walls until you find the door, and it’s not otherwise marked but this is where the arrows point to. The panel is green. What do you do?

DAN:	I swear to G-d if there’s some poor sap gettin’ beat up back here I’m gonna be real upset about it. But yeah, I guess I’ll like, knock on the door. Um, very hesitantly?

KAYA:	Oka— Clous, do you open the door?

AMANDA:	Uh, Clous is, generally speaking, not right at the door.

KAYA:	Sure.

AMANDA:	Clous— I’m usually sitting right behind my little desk, which is in one of the ‘lil back areas, so rather than opening the door, I will in fact call out, since, you know, there’s not usually many people coming near me aside from the janitor. Ahem. Jesse hears from across the door, 

CLOUS:	Limply: Yes, you can come in.

DAN:	Is it like a typical Mass Effect door? Or is it like an—

KAYA:	Yes! 

DAN:	[overlapping laughs] —old school—

KAYA:	No, it’s your standard door, the panel’s green, you just have to smack it and it’ll open.

DAN:	Okay, yeah, then I do that. Come on in.

KAYA:	Alright Clous, describe you and describe your office.

AMANDA:	[giggles] Clous is rather large for any creature, but a little on the smaller to average size in terms of an elcor, just around two metres tall. She is a very like, light sort of bluish shade of gray, sort of a marengo color. She looks relatively average, again as any elcor that you would come across, save for this tiny pink fedora, there on her head. It doesn’t seem to be held down by anything? But it’s not movin’! 

The rest of Clous’s room is usually a closet for janitorial services. She has bartered her own services in order to be able to post her detective, uh, business, in this closet, so you can see— it’s rather dark, there’s just one of those little, like, hanging lights up at the top and then like, a tiny little desk lamp in front of this folding table— on top of this folding table that Clous has in front of her. There are a bunch of shelving units that you would usually see with like, cleaning supplies. There’s a bucket and a mop that are right by the door, so close that if you’re not paying attention you will probably crash right into it and spill the water over the floor. It’s happened a lot. 

And you see a little poster on the wall— you see two little posters. One is an original, like the cover art for the original Peter Sellers Pink Panther movie and the other poster is an earth classic, a little cat hanging from a branch and it says “Hang in There”.

KAYA:	Amazing!

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

CLOUS:	With confusion: Is there something wrong in the casino?

JESSE:	Oh uh, no, I— I saw your advertisement and thought I’d check it out. Uh, the game wasn’t really holding my attention.

CLOUS:	Jubilantly: Are you in need of some detective services?

JESSE:	Uh, yeah, as a matter of fact, I could use a professional opinion.

CLOUS:	With great pride: I am the galaxy’s greatest detective and I will give you the solution that you need. What are you looking for?

JESSE:	Uhm, well uh, i—information, mainly.

CLOUS:	Blithely: Information about what?

JESSE:	A human, and uh, 

DAN:	Jesse’s gonna kind of like look around, can I do like a quick look for, I don’t know, recording equipment or something that might look out of place that I’m—

KAYA:	Perception check? Yeah, sure.

DAN:	Yeah. [chuckles] Uhhh real bad, real bad. Um, an eight.

KAYA:	I’m gonna say that you don’t see anything.

DAN:	‘Kay.

KAYA:	It is a janitorial closet—

DAN:	Right.

KAYA:	So…

DAN:	How— how much space do I even have in here?

KAYA:	Well it’s big enough for an elcor, and probably not a lot else.

AMANDA:	Mm hmm.

LEA:	Enough, enough.

DAN:	Ah just like—

AMANDA:	Maybe— maybe a good three square feet. Whenever anybody needs to get something other than the mop, Clous has to stand up from behind the desk— there’s no chair, she just like sits on her bottom and the table only— because it’s generally for species that aren’t elcor — it only comes up to about her knees — so whenever somebody needs something she has to fold up the table and sort of like, shuffle to the side very carefully put the table off to the side and then sort of like, shimmy backward to get out of the room.

DAN:	So now I’m imagining Jesse just like, well cause the door doesn’t, it just slides open cause it’s like a normal Mass Effect door, so it just like closed directly behind him and he’s leaning against it.

AMANDA:	With no other room and a very clearly excited but not showing it elcor, sitting, staring at you.

JESSE:	Well I’m— I’m trying to find some information on, um,

DAN: 	and I’ll get a little bit quieter, 

JESSE:	a human uh, group— organization known as Minos?

KAYA:	Okay, this would be an opportunity I would think for either an Academics or an Insight or a History check from you, Amanda.

AMANDA:	Would love to, thank you!

KAYA:	Yeah!

AMANDA:	Let’s see. Uh, it was History, Academics, or—

KAYA:	Insight.

AMANDA:	Insight.

KAYA:	I would accept Insight. Basically we’re trying to figure out what you already know about Minos.

AMANDA:	Oh absolutely! It’s just funny because, um, uhh—

KAYA:	[overlapping] Or Investigate, I suppose it could be Investigate.

AMANDA:	Oh I’m bad at all of them!

KAYA:	[Utterly baffled] UHHH OKAY!

AMANDA	[laughs]

KAYA:	World’s greatest detective!

LEA:	What?!

KAYA:	Sucks at detecting!

LEA:	Excuse me?!

AMANDA:	She’s very— I’m very wise— 

KAYA:	Ah.

AMANDA:	—but I’m not very smart.

LEA:	OH MY—

KAYA:	I see, I see. Okay so—

AMANDA:	So let's Investigate—

DAN:	So you’re a liar.

AMANDA:	I’m not a liar! I have a very strong belief in myself and the value I can bring to other people and if they would just listen to me then maybe we would be able to get some things solved around here. I’ve solved plenty of mysteries before, thank you very much, with things people just didn’t pay attention to, I happened to notice them.

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

TIFF:	That’s purely coincidence.

AMANDA:	Ah, that is an eleven.

KAYA:	Okay, you’ve heard of them, but mostly through what’s been going on in the news. So you know that Minos up until recently controlled most of Earth and weren’t very friendly about it. They’re very anti-alien, they’re very human-supremacist, basically they have been refusing all foreign aid to Earth as Earth is cooking to a crisp under Sol’s excess radiation. You don’t know a whole lot more than that.

AMANDA:	Oh no… especially oh no because I realized I should also be taking notes on what you’re telling me.

KAYA:	Hahaha, probably wise.

AMANDA:	Eeeyaaaaaahhh, alright, well let’s see Minos currently in control of Earth—

[Please rise for the call and response portion of the service]

KAYA:	No, no longer in control—

AMANDA:	Oh no longer in control—

KAYA:	Up until recently—

AMANDA:	Up until recently— 

KAYA:	Up until very recently.

AMANDA:	Very recently.

KAYA:	Yes, they’re no longer in control of Earth. Earth is being led by the United Terran Citizens, led by Clara Goyle, the granddaughter to humanity’s first ambassador. Who up until said recent ousting was Minos’s public face and so she has turned— she has been turned turncoat, and with the help of the newly reawakened geth, kicked Minos off Earth. Minos is now at large in the galaxy.

AMANDA:	Ooooh.

KAYA:	And nobody really knows what they’re up to.

CLOUS:	With piquedness: Now that’s a name I haven’t heard much very recently. DIdn’t they leave earth not too long ago?

JESSE:	Yeah! Yeah. And went into hiding and that’s why I’m trying to find them. If they were easy to find I wouldn’t need help. [chuckles]

CLOUS:	Skeptically: what makes you want to look for them?

JESSE:	[sighs]

CLOUS:	Do you have designs?

JESSE:	They have something that I would like to liberate from them.

CLOUS:	Blissfully: I enjoy liberation. I have been liberated once or twice myself.

DAN:	[chuckles]

CLOUS:	Joyfully: I would be glad to help you. Where do we begin?

JESSE:	Uh, well, I have tried, I’ve started my own research, I’m trying to find whereabouts but came to a dead end and that’s why I was seeking out help. So if you have any, I don’t know, maybe information brokers, or people you go to for leads?

CLOUS:	Eagerly: I know just who to call.

JESSE:	Let's do it!

AMANDA:	I don’t have a cell phone!

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

KAYA:	You have an omnitool, omnitools work. Humans like ramen, right?

CLOUS:	As far as I’m aware.

KAYA:	That seems like a reasonable, reasonable assumption, humans like ramen. Clous in her great wisdom decides that she will invite Jesse and her occasional acquaintance Athena to dinner at the noodle stand in Zakera Ward, where they’ve relatively recently hired a new chef.

VI:	Zakera Ward. Mid-Ward District,  Saberian Building. Level 26, The Stand.

CLOUS:	Jubilantly: Athena, so good to see you. Thank you for joining us. This is… a person looking for Minos.

JESSE:	Jesse. Uh, we can start with names.

ATHENA:	We can indeed. I’m Athena, and Clous, so good to see you again. Although, there’s something different about you, I can’t quite place. New haircut?

CLOUS:	Jovially: I may have had my ears raised.

ATHENA:	[laughs] Well, good for you. And, sorry, you’ve invited me here for this one? Is this a date?

CLOUS:	Facetiously: He does seem like your type, with the exception of an Alliance background.

JESSE:	You are a real detective, right?

KAYA:	HAH!

CLOUS:	Deeply hurt: You barely even know me and yet say such things. I do not recall you formally introducing yourself by name, so I could not introduce you by name to my friend Athena.

JESSE:	Oh no, that—that’s not what I meant, I just meant that, we’re here for like, a business meeting, right?

ATHENA:	Jesse, have you ever heard of incognito?

JESSE:	Uhm, yes. [chuckles]

ATHENA:	Right, so act natural.

JESSE:	Didn’t know I was acting unnaturally. [laughs]

ATHENA:	[sighs] 

JESSE:	A—alright, I’ll go order some ramen. [chuckles]

KAYA:	Jesse, as you approach the counter, there’s a very large arthropodal, insectoid alien behind it.

DAN:	Is this normal now, or…? [laughs]

KAYA:	Welllll, not to your memory, it's not. But nobody seems to be freaking out!

DAN:	Yeah, alright, I’m just gonna look around and tentatively order at the counter I guess.

JESSE:	Uhm, I’m new here, uh, what would you recommend?

ALANYA:	Behind the counter, since it’s like a open kitchen-like thing, uhm, you’ll see, like, what you’ll know as a rachni. They, I don’t even know if they can, for some reason they have on this kind of, they tried to give them like the stand uniform, so they have like that, and maybe a little hat— also chef hat. And uh, they’re also um, they’re really like, putting on a show with how they’re cooking and stuff so there’s kind of like this um, this flair to their cooking kind of. Um—

AMANDA:	Like a hibachi chef?

ALANYA:	Yes. So, like that, and Jesse will hear in— within their mind, they’ll hear them say 

SOLACE:	We can show you the menu if you like.

JESSE:	Uh. Oh uhhh, ehh, [confused noises] that’s new. Uhhh, uhhhh [more confused noises] eh uh eh, phhh yeah, ahhhh I, I don— I don’t know uh, what’s your specialty?

ALANYA:	Bring up a console for Jesse, will show them a variety of kinds of ramen and they’ll say um, 

SOLACE:	Please take your time.

JESSE:	Thanks! 

DAN:	And I’m gonna get lost in that menu for a little bit. [chuckles]

KAYA:	Okay, let's pop back over to Clous and Athena! We need an intro from Athena!

LEA:	Alright, well yeah, Athena is a thirty-two-year-old human female, she stands at five-eight [five feet, eight inches] and has a pretty lithe build. She looks pretty inquisitive, like she’s always looking around at stuff and definitely having chatter in her head about everything. Everything. Doesn’t really know what to do with her hands, so she might have them in her pockets or touching something or pointing at something really subtly. 

Her hair’s black and her eyes are blue, almost to the point of gray. She’s got like a black, almost purplish kind of leather-ish jacket, um, she’s got a white spaghetti-string slightly see through top on and just some basic black pants. There’s a couple of chains hanging around her neck, real thin, real long, and quite a few thin rings on her fingers.

KAYA:	Alright! It doesn’t have like, sit-down seating, you guys will end up sitting at the counter, or in Clous’ case, standing at the counter. So I’m just imagining, y’know Solace and Jesse are a little bit off to one side and then Clous and Athena are just sort of off in the other side. You’re very close to each other.

LEA:	Yeah. I guess Athena, she goes to lean on the counter while she’s still looking at Clous and then, corner of her eye spots what’s there and she’s like ‘Oooaah!’ But not out loud.

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

KAYA:	[overlapping] Ohhhh!

LEA:	She goes to like, act natural, just shake it off. Yes, she’s just seen a bug. There is a bug there and it is conversing with Jesse. Or at least appears to, cause he’s reacting to her. She kind of tilts her head. 

ATHENA:	Alright. I suppose that’s happening. Nice hat. Anyway, Clous, what are we doing here?

CLOUS:	With mild envy: I wish I could lean. All the cool people can lean. I have tried. But I usually slide down a wall.

LEA:	[laughs]

ATHENA:	Oh, bless your cotton… socks.

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

KAYA:	I’m just imagining Athena look at Clous’s feet and go, “Do you wear— 

LEA:	Socks?

KAYA:	[overlapping] —socks?”

LEA:	Yeah. That’s exactly what she did. 

ATHENA:	D’you— uh, completely off topic, I know you hired me, but do you wear shoes, normally? Do you get socks custom-made?

CLOUS:	Amusedly: I tried once. I broke them quite quickly. I liked the fuzzy kind. But I slid too much.

KAYA:	As this conversation is going on, Jesse has ordered and Solace is serving up with wonderful flair, um, three bowls of ramen to the counter there. Let the business begin.

JESSE:	Tonkatsu.

CLOUS:	With gratefulness: Jesse, now that I know your name, thank you for buying me ramen.

JESSE:	No worries. [chuckles] 

DAN:	I just like, light up my omnitool and pay the chef.

ATHENA:	Jesse, you’re getting mine, right?

JESSE:	Yeah I already did, let's get on with this.

CLOUS:	Confidently: Working together I believe we can get what you need and find Minos. Athena is the best in the business.

JESSE:	Alright— um, I’m not sure we’re gonna want to keep saying that name out loud in the middle of the ward, so maybe keep that on the DL, but any information you have would be greatly appreciated. [laughs]

ATHENA:	Mmm. Incognito. You’re catching on, well done.

KAYA:	Just a reminder that at any point guys, you can do things like Perception and Insight checks to see how people around you are reacting if you so desire— or you can just y’know, balls out and do whatever the hell you want and I’ll, y’know, jump in if something happens.

DAN:	Yeah, I would definitely do a Perception check.

LEA:	Yeah we’re just going in.

KAYA:	[overlapping] Heh, sure.

DAN:	I was just looking around, you can keep talking.

LEA:	Oh! I love two answers there— I’m like, I’ll just go in and he’s like I’ll do a check. [laughs]

DAN:	Uh, that’s a twenty-two for my roll.

KAYA:	Okay! Um, so were you doing Perception or Insight?

DAN:	Perception.

KAYA:	Perception. Nobody is giving you a second glance so far. Ah, Zakera Ward is one of the most multi-species Wards on the Citadel. It’s suppertime— because the Citadel has no day-night cycle; there’s a simulated day-night cycle on the Presidium, but the Wards don’t have one and so you keep whatever hours you want. So yeah, anybody who happens to be around the Alliance’s standard, the Terran Universal Coordinated Calendar, you see other humans are getting dinner in various places too, so you’re not the only one. 

But there are members of every species wandering by and you take a look around as soon as Clous mentions Minos again and, like, maybe a couple people sort of look up but nobody’s bothered or anything. As soon as they see that it’s an elcor saying the word it’s a little bit less concerning than, y’know if it was a group of humans clustered together, whispering about Minos and things like that so, so far so good.

AMANDA:	May I ask a, uh, potential roll question?

KAYA:	Sure!

AMANDA:	I would like to know how good this ramen is.

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

KAYA:	Ahh sure!

ALANYA:	Should I roll, actually, to see—?

KAYA:	Yes, this would be a Performance roll for Solace.

ALANYA:	Okay. Alright.

KAYA:	Because there’s not a Cooking skill, so we’ll go with Performance.

ALANYA:	Okay, it better not be trash, I swear to G-d. Plus four. UGH. Why??

AMANDA:	You jinxed her!

ALANYA:	[overlapping] It’s a f— seven.

AMANDA:	[overlapping] You jinxed— [laughs]

KAYA:	[overlapping]  What’d you sa— a seven??

ALANYA:	Yes.

KAYA:	Okay, I will say that— okay. I’m gonna make you roll three times. We’re gonna say that Jesse ordered three different bowls, so you got a seven, you got a seven for Clous’ bowl because I have a reason, and now give me two more d20 performance rolls.

ALANYA:	Should get like, a nat one. I’m gonna accidentally poison one of you guys! [laughs]

DAN:	Just keep the dextro-aminos away from the humans.

ALANYA:	Eight, not a lot, uh, better. Alright.

AMANDA:	Okay, well, I guess Clous takes the six!

KAYA:	Whoops.

ALANYA:	I’m— I’m still learning!

KAYA:	Ohh— wait a second, wait a second.

ALANYA:	Oh, what?

KAYA:	The dice-bot didn’t add your, your f—, your modifier…

ALANYA:	Oh, it didn’t?

AMANDA:	[shocked gasp]

KAYA:	So you actually got ten, eleven, and twelve.

ALANYA:	How come that didn’t add it? That’s—

KAYA:	[overlapping] Cause yeah—

ALANYA:	[overlapping] Oh!

KAYA:	Yeah, it just it shows you—

ALANYA:	That makes a— that makes a difference.

KAYA:	It shows you the roll sum, but then it didn’t— for whatever reason it didn’t actually add your modifier, so if you’re rolling with Glyph, guys, make sure you pay attention to that.

ALANYA:	Ohhh.

KAYA:	So ten, eleven, twelve! Clous, this is like, it’s not your favorite, so it’s pretty average, but you’re an elcor, so any food that isn’t elcor food kinda tastes like it’s a little bit weird. It’s either like, way too pungent, or completely bland.

AMANDA:	Slightly disappointing—

KAYA:	[overlapping] But Jesse and Athena, this is like, it's a decent bowl of ramen.

LEA:	[overlapping] Yeah. Yeah.

KAYA:	[overlapping] So Jesse’s like— “oh that was pretty good” and Athena was like “ehhh, I’ve had better, but, eh, perfectly acceptable.”

LEA:	Mm hmm. Definitely would say I’ve had better.

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

KAYA:	She says that out loud?

LEA:	No!

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

LEA:	No, she’s not gonna piss off— she’s not gonna test pissing off this giant—

AMANDA:	[overlapping cackle]

LEA:	—creature. Just yet.

KAYA:	Yes, it is worth saying that like, Solace is—

DAN:	[overlapping] Yeah.

KAYA:	Probably about two-thirds the size of Clous.

ALANYA:	Two-thirds the size of—

KAYA:	Rachni are not small—

ALANYA:	Yeah—

KAYA:	But not quite as big as Clous, but, reasonably large.

TIFF:	Big bug.

KAYA:	Yes, big bug.

ALANYA:	But Solace is like, as they’re doing their cooking, they’re still kind of just eyeing over just to see, cause they’re still learning how to cook, so they want to see peoples’ reactions. So they’re still throwing, I don’t know what the rachni’s eyes would look like, they’re kind of just looking, like—

KAYA:	They’re small, probably, y’know, multi-faceted… what, the word I’m looking for that I cannot think of— compound! Compound. Compound eyes, but they are quite small if you look at the game art. Yeah. Very beady, lil’ beady compound eyes. Yeah.

ALANYA:	Beady.

KAYA:	Yeah. Okay! So you guys, you are eating your ramen, and, and discussing.

LEA:	Mm. I guess Athena’s just, like, kind of playing with her food, trying to find the good bits cause she knows some of it is quite tasty. But she might just leave the soup bit. And yeah her eyebrows kinda lift at the word— the mention of Minos, cause, he looks Alliance. Wait, does Jesse look Alliance even though he’s in his casuals? Would he give like, an Alliance military vibe at the moment?

KAYA:	That would be up to Jesse. 

LEA:	Yeah.

KAYA:	Dan, how’s he looking?

DAN:	Uhhhhhhhm… I mean like, if you’re expecting a sort of like, stoic military type, I would say that’s not what Jesse looks like, Jesse is a little bit more like, nervous and a little bit more awkward. I’d say he looks like fairly comfortable right now because he seems to be just kind of like, drifting into everybody here, y’know like there’s a lot of people here and he’s not the center of attention and so he’s feeling a little bit more comfortable because of that. But generally speaking he’s not like— he has the build for an Alliance— 

LEA:	[overlapping] Okay.

DAN:	—like a military person, but he doesn’t have the attitude I would say.

LEA:	Mmm.

DAN:	[overlapping] At this current moment.

LEA:	Alright. Cool. Good. Okay, so she won’t necessarily clock him as Alliance, so she’s not going to judge him just yet. 

ATHENA:	Umm, hmm, Minos...Minos...

KAYA:	Now that you know that we’re talking about Minos, do you want to do—

LEA:	I do.

KAYA:	An, any sort of roll for that, what sort of roll would you like to do for that?

ATHENA:	I think I want to roll to see if she knows like, what planet they—

TIFF:	[overlapping] That would probably be a History roll, right?

KAYA:	That would probably be a History roll, yes.

LEA:	Can she have that specific information?

KAYA:	I will warn you now that the DC for that specific task is going to be very high.

AMANDA:	Better CRIT!

KAYA:	But you certainly can roll. You can certainly try.

DAN:	My mission’s over! Woo!

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

LEA:	Yeah, sorry, it’s just skipped past everything.

DAN & LEA:	[laughs]

LEA:	Whoops! Okay so I got a nine and History is five, so fourteen.

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

KAYA:	Yeah no, you don’t know where exactly they went, no.

LEA:	Okay, okay.

KAYA & LEA:	[laughs]

LEA:	Dang.

KAYA:	But I will say, so I’ll give you, I’ll give you what you would know on a— so that was a fourteen?

LEA:	Mm hmm.

KAYA:	‘Kay. You know that you’ve seen Minos people around. You know what to look for, you know who to look for. You have on occasion had the opportunity to speak with Minos agents or operatives, whether or not you have taken those opportunities I leave up to you, but I will say that you have run into Minos people before, and so far come out unscathed.

LEA:	Unscathed, yeah. [laughs] That’s the word.

KAYA:	Yeah. And so if you wanted to investigate further on that tangent, you certainly could. There are other options for how you guys wish to pursue this particular mystery—

LEA:	Hmm.

KAYA:	Of course. Right, you can follow Minos but there are other possibilities.

ATHENA:	So Jesse, are you looking for someone in particular? Are you looking for a certain sect? Are you looking for an item? Any specifics. Something.

JESSE:	Item.

ATHENA:	Item...

JESSE:	An item, yeah. Not a, not a particular person I would say. Uh, yeah. An object.

ATHENA:	Right. Is this an object that I could source elsewhere? Or is it specific to Minos?

JESSE:	Well they, they have a specific object, yeah. It’s not a thing that I could just go out and buy a replacement for if that’s what you’re asking. No.

ATHENA:	Okay. And this item, is it like Minos-branded? Where did you last see it?

JESSE:	Well, that’s a question! [chuckles] Uh, the, well, okay, y’know what, I’ll stop beating around the bush a little bit here.

AMANDA:	Clous was absolutely about to jump in and say, 

CLOUS:	With frustration: If we’re playing Twenty Questions, is the item: plant? Person? Living? Dead? Stone? New? Old? Young?

JESSE:	Hey I was just being respectful, I was following the line of questions—

EVERYONE:	[overlapping laughs]

CLOUS:	Vegetable? Mineral?

JESSE:	You can— it’s a spaceship, you can stop.

CLOUS:	With shame: I was just about to ask—

EVERYONE:	[overlapping laughs]

ATHENA:	Sure you were, darling. Alright. A ship, a ship makes it so much easier.

JESSE:	You’d think!

ATHENA:	In theory. We talking lit—little ship? Big ship? Big fuck-off ship?

AMANDA:	[cackles]

ATHENA:	Which kind?

JESSE:	Uhm—

CLOUS:	Twenty Questions about the ship.

DAN:	Kaya, correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s a frigate, right?

KAYA:	[utterly destroyed] …yes…!

DAN:	[overlapping] Yeah.

LEA:	[overlapping] Sorry, a what?

AMANDA:	[overlapping] A frickin’ frigate.

KAYA:	[overlapping] Yes.

LEA:	[overlapping] A what?

DAN:	[overlapping] Yes. It’s a frigate.

LEA:	[overlapping] Fricken. Frigate.

DAN:	Yes. Yes it’s a, yeah. 

JESSE:	Yeah, it’s a frigate. Just gonna—

ATHENA:	Okay.

JESSE:	Yeah.

ATHENA:	And, like, a custom frigate?

JESSE:	And the last time I saw it was when I nearly died on it, so…

ATHENA:	Interesting. What were you doing on it?

JESSE:	Here’s probably not the best place.

ATHENA:	Mmm. Alright.

AMANDA:	Clous jumps in— 

CLOUS:	Great excitement and hunger: Should we go for ice cream?

KAYA:	[laughs]

LEA:	Athena’s just grinning. She’s like— 

ATHENA:	Um, always. 

LEA:	And she’s gonna try and get the attention of Solace. 

ATHENA:	Do you have any ice cream in the back? Do you make any?

KAYA:	I will say that, because most ramen and most Japanese places, they usually have like, green tea ice cream or red bean ice cream, so sure, why not.

ALANYA:	They’ll say, within Athena’s mind, 

SOLACE:	Sure. We will get that for you shortly.

ATHENA:	Alright, wha— sh— did you hear that too? Like—

JESSE:	The chef spoke to you, huh? Yeah I had the same reaction.

CLOUS:	Joyfully—

LEA:	[overlapping] Athena nods.

CLOUS:	Well, she seems nice. 

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

CLOUS:	She may not be the best cook, but—

ATHENA:	Well, you weren’t the best merc, but you’re still making your way.

CLOUS:	Confidently: Yes. We are not always in the place where our talents are best used. Affectionately: However, you are always where your talents are needed.

ATHENA:	Mmm. Well, some people would say I’m always where I shouldn’t be, so debatable. But thank you anyway.

JESSE:	This is lovely, but, I don’t know, do you have any leads you can give me? I’m...taking a big risk by having this kind of conversation out in public.

ATHENA:	Quite, you are. So the ship— were there lots of people on it when you left? Is it currently in action, is what I’m trying to ask. Or you’re not sure?

JESSE:	Oh, um, y’know— [tsk] hmm. Erm, seriously if we could find a quieter place to talk I might be able to give you some more information, but like, right here, I don’t think this is the best idea.

KAYA:	I’m going to hop in and I’m going to say that there is a krogan nearby who has been listening to most of this. Who just so happens to have a quiet place. You’ve done a few, ah, down-low deals in your time, Vraga. So how ‘bout you give us a description of yourself and then do what you will?

TIFF:	So, the krogan that you can spy in this little corner near the loading docks is just under two meters, so she’s just under the elcor that you’re with, just under Clous’ height. She is roughly 250 kilos, so she’s a big’un. The way you would be able to differentiate her from male krogan, a little bit shorter, her headplate is a little more inclined, it’s a little smaller, dark royal purple is kinda the color that it is. She’s got golden eyes, and she’s wearing heavy armor. Always wearing heavy armor. The armor that she’s wearing is similarly purple, very royal, dusty purple, with gold detailing. It’s definitely seen action, there are plenty of burns. She’s got a shotgun strapped to her hip. She looks like she’s ready to talk business. She’s just kinda sitting there, observing, definitely listening to the conversation.

KAYA:	I’ll say Jesse, that you notice this given your earlier, excellent Perception check.

DAN:	Coming off of my last line I’ll lean into everyone and kind of quietly say, like, 

JESSE:	Like that krogan who’s very obviously paying attention to us.

ATHENA:	Mmm.

DAN:	In the loading dock? Am I looking, like, through the ramen counter? Like where is this, where is Vraga? [chuckles]

KAYA:	Yeah, so we’ve got like the ramen counter sort of in this corner, and then over here there’s one of those big archways into the loading docks area and Vraga’s like, on a crate there or next to a pile of crates, just sort of like, you know, checking her nails or whatever. Cleaning her shotgun.

EVERYONE:	[overlapping laughs]

LEA:	[overlapping] Cleaning her shotgun, yeah.

VRAGA:	Yeah, you’re not exactly making an effort to keep your voices down. And it’s pretty boring here right now, so, by all means, continue. Though if you’d like to have more privacy, ‘s a little more private over here.

LEA:	Athena looks Vraga up and down, smiles, cause she actually likes the look of her, she looks like, fierce. But what she says is like, 

ATHENA:	Who the fuck are you? But also, yes, let’s go. Ah! Ooh! Ice cream, we’ve got that coming. Where’s that bug?

DAN:	[laughs]

KAYA:	If you guys scoot, Solace, you follow them with the ice cream, because then we have everybody in the same place. [laughs]

ALANYA:	Okay, gotcha.

KAYA:	It’s the end of your shift. Remember that you guys can do Insight checks. I’m specifically thinking about Jesse who is, uh—

LEA:	[overlapping] Yeah.

KAYA:	— dealing with sensitive information, you can always do an Insight check on a fellow player.

DAN:	Uhhhhm, doot do doooo, well, as I found out recently, my Insight is a negative 3 now, so, that would mean it is—

KAYA:	[laughs]

DAN:	Four, three, two, one, zero— umm, oh sorry.

KAYA:	[laughs]

KAYA:	Oh, Christ.

DAN:	One, two, that’d be a one.

AMANDA:	[cackling] Meanwhile—

KAYA	This krogan seems pretty trustworthy!

AMANDA:	Meanwhile Clous is over here just watching you two talk and mumbles, 

CLOUS:	Enthralled: this is the meet-cute I was hoping for.

JESSE:	Alright, you’re picking up the ice cream, I’m not paying for that.

AMANDA:	Clous just emits a pheromone, like, she knows that she can communicate with Solace at this point that way, cause she got it from her, so she just like, subtly, pheromonally, communicates like, 

CLOUS:	We would like our ice cream to go, please.

ALANYA:	Mm hmm. And so Solace will just package it, their ice cream to go and then they’ll hand each of them their ice cream. Oh—

AMANDA:	Why not just follow us?

ALANYA:	I guess, uh—

AMANDA:	We’re already leaving, just come with us!

KAYA:	This is the most crowbarred meet-cute—

LEA:	[overlapping] Yeah she’s like skittering behind like— wait, wait, wait!

KAYA:	Let’s just shove you all together—

DAN:	[laughs]

KAYA:	Bring the ice cream, fellow rachni! Bring the ice cream!

AMANDA:	[laughs]

LEA:	What—

KAYA:	Okay Vraga, where are you taking them? We shall hand-wave this; where are you taking them?

TIFF:	In response to Athena, she she kinda gets up from where she was sitting on the crate and, y’know, does a neck roll and says, 

VRAGA:	Ravanor Vraga. And if you’re looking for any sort of muscle, I’m your girl. 

TIFF:	So, I’m kind of running off of my mental memory of how the Zakera Ward works, ‘specially where that ramen stand is, but yeah I think there is, like you said, the archway, there’s like a stairway kinda down into this sort of cargo area. 

Inside this cargo area it’s pretty empty, there are a couple other krogan who are very much keeping to themselves, and even if they were to overhear what was happening, they are three sheets to the wind on ryncol, so, wouldn’t worry about them retaining any of the knowledge. So she would relay that to them. She says, 

VRAGA:	Uh, don’t worry about those. They’re also Clan Ravanor, and they will not remember the last twelve hours. Ryncol tends to do that. So what was this about this Minos?

JESSE:	Alright, everyone lookin’ at me? Yeah, okay. Okay, here’s the deal, I’ve been outta action a while now, and no one in the, uh, proper authority channels can tell me why. Or what happened. Or, where the ship I was serving on is. And so, I am tryin’ to figure this out myself.

CLOUS:	Perplexed: Is it like one of those earth films? Do you have amnesia?

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

TIFF:	Dang.

JESSE:	Ehhhhh, that’s not so far off. Ah, there are some things that I’m having a hard time remembering, yeah,  but, I’m trying to find the ship that I served on. I don’t know if— okay. Well, here’s what I’m looking for. I’m looking for the SSV Marathon. That’s what I’m trying to find. The only clue that I have is that Minos has it. And it means a lot to me that I find it.

VRAGA:	Sounds like this sort of mission would also come with some dangerous… [three full seconds of anticipation] …dangers. So, it seems though, you might need a little extra— 

ATHENA:	[overlapping] Interesting—

VRAGA:	Muscle. I might lack in vocabulary, but what I have is firepower.

LEA:	And Athena just snaps out of her shittyness and looks up at what Vraga has said and is like, 

ATHENA:	It’s alright, babe. I understand ‘dangerous danger’. It’s what I live for.

VRAGA:	I think we may be kindred spirits.

CLOUS:	Jubilantly: Athena likes muscles.

VRAGA:	Noted.

ATHENA:	I like so many things, Clous. I have many tastes. Maaaany, many tastes.

AMANDA:	Solace just understands, in the pheromones, just smells Clous inside her brain just saying like, 

CLOUS:	Excitedly: I ship them.

EVERYONE:	[laughing]

KAYA:	I cannot stop giggling.

TIFF:	She hears some skittering down the stairs and then sees a rachni and is immediately on high alert but she doesn’t go to like raise a weapon but where she was sitting she stands up immediately and says, 

VRAGA:	Are you that ramen chef?

ALANYA:	Ah, Solace will speak out to her, 

SOLACE:	Yes, we are. Would you also like some ramen, too?

VRAGA:	I had some when I was ripped on ryncol the other day. I don’t know what you put in that, but it was fucking delicious.

SOLACE:	We are ecstatic to hear that. Thank you so much.

VRAGA:	Hey, no problem. What about this frigate?

JESSE:	Ehm, so it looks like we’ve got a bit of a crew here. Which is nice if you’re all willing to, like, I don’t know, help me find a missing ship. But I started off with trying to find means of getting leads on that so does any—I mean like are you an information broker? Do you have that, or...or are we… What are we doing here?

KAYA:	Good question.

LEA:	Yeah, well now that Jesse’s said the name of his ship Athena has something to tether onto. She just got distracted by everything else. So, maybe can we...?

TIFF:	Actually that’s a good question, Kaya, is there any way I could roll to see if I know anyone?

KAYA:	Sure. Yeah. I—

TIFF:	What would you like me to roll for that?

KAYA:	I would like you to roll— well, if Vraga wants to do a Networking roll and Athena wants to do a History or something like that. That would be cool or you could also do Networking.

LEA:	Yeah. I’ll do Networking ‘cause I have that in spades.

KAYA:	Okay.

LEA:	What?! No! Even with the plus four, it’s only six. Get fucked.

EVERYONE: 	[laughs]

KAYA:	Wow.

AMANDA:	That just seems rude.

LEA:	Information broker rolls a two.

KAYA:	[overlapping] I mean…

DAN:	[cackling]

LEA:	That’s it. Nothing else matters.

TIFF:	I got ten.

KAYA:	Clous, do you want to roll a Networking, try for Networking as well?

CLOUS:	Eagerly: I would love to. 

AMANDA:	[cackling] That is an eighteen in Networking.

KAYA:	Okay! Here we go! 

TIFF:	[overlapping] There we go! 

KAYA:	Okay, Clous, you know an information broker or two but what immediately comes to mind is that you guys will need a ship! For wherever you need to— if you’re chasing down a ship, you need a ship! And you have an old buddy from your last job who just happens to now be a used ship salesman here on the Citadel. So if y’all need a ship, then you'd better go see Roli.

AMANDA:	So Clous has a burst of inspiration and realizes that, like you said, obviously we’re gonna need a way to travel. I know just the person. She does not openly communicate this with anyone else, because she’s so excited. She’s just on a roll. And so, 

CLOUS:	Enthusiastically: Follow me! 

AMANDA:	And just walks off.

KAYA:	[cackles] I mean, elcor aren’t very fast. 

AMANDA:	I am quite slow! 

LEA:	We could be waiting at the bottom, or the top, of the stairs for a while.

AMANDA:	And if I get—I’ll just keep turning around. If you’re not following me, like…

LEA:	[giggling] That’s so slow!

CLOUS:	Impatiently: Hurry the fuck up. We have places to be.

DAN:	Do you have to like, fully turn around for that?

KAYA:	They do—they have spines, like, they can turn!

EVERYONE:	[giggles]

AMANDA:	Yeah, no, I can turn. I can turn as long as I have room.

LEA:	Do you have like a little reversing noise? Beep. Beep. Beep.

AMANDA:	With great care: Beep.

KAYA:	Vraga, did you have a question?

TIFF:	No, so, she was just, in character she wanted to ask Jesse: 

VRAGA:	This job. I’m assuming you can’t pay for it with actual credits.

JESSE:	Not personally, no. I wasn’t originally looking for a crew; although that does make more sense.

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

VRAGA:	Question: Do you believe there would be opportunity for…how do the humans say it…booty?

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

KAYA:	Jesse, I don’t think you would know this because you have amnesia. But I will say—Athena, give me a History check real quick. And hope to G-d you roll better.

LEA:	...A ten! Ten. What the fuck.

EVERYONE:	[cackles]

KAYA:	Oh my fucking lord.

LEA:	I know.

DAN:	Shadow Broker’s not sweating anything.

LEA:	Shit, yep, ten. Ten. So she’s an ice cream broker.

KAYA:	What, that’s a ten total? You have a plus five? Okay.

LEA:	Yes.

KAYA:	That is good enough for this one. Thank G-d. Minos are technically wanted by the Alliance. And so like Minos’ general and his right hand woman, they are essentially the Alliance’s most wanted. But even like, disrupting Minos’ activities in the galaxy will definitely win you favors with the Alliance and nobody is going to complain if you steal their shit.

LEA:	Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Absolutely.

KAYA:	Also, I will give you— I mean, you have heard they have good shit. So, you know that much.

AMANDA:	Such a good thing I’ve walked away.

ATHENA:	Vraga, yes, we absolutely will be finding booty. Lots of it. And, there’s basically no oversight with these guys because everyone wants them dead! Given that, if you’re all amenable to—to mischief, piracy, shenanigans…I’d say we’re doing this.

VRAGA:	Sounds like you’ve got a deal.

LEA:	I high-five the krogan.

TIFF:	She high-fives back and perhaps a little too hard, you know, being a krogan.

EVERYONE:	[giggles]

ATHENA:	Motherfuck— It’s fine. I’m fine.

VRAGA:	Sorry, I forgot about the human physiology.

JESSE:	Uh hey, Chef, since you’ve heard all of this…

LEA:	“Chef…”

JESSE:	Uh, you doing anything? You want in on this?

SOLACE:	We would love to be in on this. While we do enjoy our job at the ramen stand, it doesn’t pay well. At all. If we’re being honest.

JESSE:	Think of all the flavors you could discover, I guess, I don’t know. Come on!

KAYA:	Okay, so, y’all are heading out.

ROLI:	Roli Polus’ Ship-Shape Emporium. Have you got a need for speed? Call Roli! Do you want to pimp your ride? Call Roli! Good credit? Bad credit? No credits? No problem! Call Roli! Have you technically been classified as dead by Citadel security? Call Roli! Roli Polus, your no questions asked source for quality, new-to-you, space-and sky-worthy vehicles on the Citadel. Payment plans available on all models. Come see Roli today in Zakera Ward!

VI:	Zakera Ward. Lower Markets. New Arex Plaza. Roli Polus’ Ship-Shape Emporium.

KAYA:	We will do another whoosh to Roli Polus’ Used Ship Emporium, which is luckily still on Zakera Ward, because Zakera Ward is, again, one of the most multi-species wards on the Citadel. So, it’s down a couple of levels and so y’all cram into one of those nasty annoying elevators that takes far, far, far too long to get anywhere, and Clous brings you to this—it’s run down but it’s very clean, this little shop where, yes, a volus is standing behind the counter. He looks up and he goes, 

ROLI:	Hello, Clous. Nice to see you again. How can I help you today?

AMANDA:	Clous, ever the ultra-affectionate elcor that she is with her friends, borderline inappropriately because nobody is asking for her to be so excited to see them. And it takes so little to get her to love you.

EVERYONE:	[dies a little inside] Hahohaww!

AMANDA:	She walks right up to Roli and says, 

CLOUS:	Gregariously: Roli, it has been too long. 

AMANDA:	And then just like, slumps her head and just presses the top of her head onto the top of Roli’s head. Like not with too much pressure, but just like the kind of way that a cat would like, head-bonk you to show affection. 

CLOUS:	Affectionate: Bonk.

AMANDA:	[giggles]

KAYA:	Roli gingerly raises a hand, and sort of pats Clous on like, the weird flappy things and says, 

ROLi:	Oh, Clous. You always know how to treat a guy.

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

AMANDA:	And then Clous says, 

CLOUS:	Urgently: we need a ship to help this brainless man find his ship.

EVERYONE:	[slowly loses their minds in giggles]

JESSE:	Is that like a translation error or something? What is wrong with you?

LEA:	Sure. Sure.

CLOUS:	Defensively: You are very mean to me. This seems unwarranted.

JESSE:	You just called me brainless! What?!

CLOUS:	You have lost your brain. You do not remember things. You have lost your brain.

JESSE:	Okay, so yeah, then it’s a tran— okay, sure! Whatever. Let’s go with that. 

DAN:	I’m just gonna like, check my omnitool to make sure that the translator is working properly.

LEA:	Athena just puts like a hand on his forearm and she’s like, 

AMANDA:	[overlapping cackles]

ATHENA:	She meant every word. It’s okay. There, there.

KAYA:	Roli looks between you all and says, 

ROLi:	What kind of ship are you looking for? You know me, I have many. 

KAYA:	I’m gonna hyperventilate doing this voice. How does Mark Meer do it?!

DAN:	You record it once.

EVERYONE:	[laughs]

TIFF:	I was about to say.

AMANDA:	I mean, so is Roli asking me directly or am I giving a—?

KAYA:	[overlapping] Yeah. Yeah.

AMANDA:	Oh okay, so in that case Clous, knowing Athena has a bit more history of ships, a bit more knowledge of them, will just simply turn around and say, 

CLOUS:	Curiously: Athena, what ship would you recommend?

LEA:	Erm, alright. She’s looking around at the various ones, 

ATHENA:	Probably a blue one?

ROLi:	I have several models in blue.

KAYA & LEA:	[giggling]

LEA:	Then she um, she jumps the counter— can I jump the counter?

[unintelligible chaos as we collectively lose our g-ddamned minds]

KAYA:	[bewildered] Uh yes? It’s like one of those standard, Citadel little shoppy places. Yeah he’s got a counter, um, yeah you can jump the counter— 

LEA:	[overlapping] Yeah, alright 

KAYA:	— sure.

LEA:	[breathlessly laughing] Sweet. She’s like, 

ATHENA:	Okay, great. 

LEA:	Jumps over the counter, pushes past him and just like, runs—

[from here on out, cats and dogs living together… MASS HYSTERIA!]

KAYA:	[overlapping] Okay—
 
AMANDA:	[overlapping] Athletics check! Athletics check!

KAYA:	[desperately trying to contain everyone] Pause, pause, pause, pause.

DAN:	—there aren’t any ships there…

KAYA:	No! There’s not any ships there! So this is like a little store front! So all of the ships that you would be like buying are out in SPACE! On docking corridors! With connectings!

DAN:	This is not like a used car lot!

KAYA:	There’s a console that you can like, scroll through your options. There’s probably a little display where there’s like a little hologram. If you like, pick one it goes boop! So you might be able to see some of the ships out the window. But unless you put on like, an EVT suit…

LEA:	Just launch out!

DAN:	I just look at Clous and say, like, 

JESSE:	And you called me the brainless one.

LEA:	Alright! We’re gonna roll it back. We’re gonna, we’re gonna—

KAYA:	Sure.

LEA:	Yeah, we’re gonna roll it back. She’ll jump the counter, and instead of using what’s on the counter for customers she’s just like, moved the monitor, she’s looking at his stuff. Scrolling through, scrolling through. Making it her own.

AMANDA:	Wait. Wait, sorry, did you jump the counter?

LEA:	Yeah.

AMANDA:	I would like to see an Athletics check.

KAYA:	Sure, I think that’s fair. That’s reasonable.

LEA:	Alright, GM.

DAN:	Oh man, this is gonna bite you.

AMANDA:	Yes, please.

LEA:	Alright, alright, alright.

AMANDA:	I am so excited. I’m sorry but I’m so excited.

LEA:	I mean, I do have zero in Athletics so...I’ve got—no, wait, no, no, no. Acrobatics, I have six in that. Can I do Acrobatics?

KAYA:	Yes, you can do Acrobatics. Yes.

LEA:	Okay. Oh! Ah, eighteen plus six.

KAYA:	Yeah, okay, yeah you like fucking vault the counter and do a pirouette off the handle, like, it’s gorgeous. However, if you are trying to access his private console, I would like some sort of check for that. Probably some sort of Charisma based check, to—the audacity of this bitch!

EVERYONE:	[cackling]

AMANDA:	WOOOOOOW.

KAYA:	Yeah. Yeah.

LEA:	Alright.

KAYA:	Alright, you are just brazenly opening this man’s personal data, so yeah I’m gonna say this is password protected so give me a Hacking roll.

LEA:	Oh, shit, okay. Charisma, I would have this in the bag. Umm, so I got sixteen and Hacking, Hacking, Hacking is a two, so eighteen.

KAYA:	Okay, you manage it! Christ on a bike. Uh, I’m actually gonna say let's take a ten minute bio break here while I think of what the hell is on this man’s console.

LEA:	Sorry. I’m sorry!

KAYA:	That’s okay! No, this is perfect, it’s fine. I’ll be back in ten! See you guys in a minute.

LEA:	We got the first “Christ on a bike”, I’m so proud of that.

[laughter trails off]

VI:	You have been listening to I Should Roll: Dangerous Dangers, Episode One, Incognito is My Middle Name. 

Featuring the voices of: Alanya Campbell as Solace-Within-Clay, Tiff Compton as Ravanor Vraga, Amanda Cotter as Clous, Lea Lawson as Athena Hellier, Dan Spitaliere as Jesse Westcott, and Kaya Renwick as everyone and everything else.

Music and sound effects are used under Creative Commons or royalty-free licenses. For the extended credits, please see the show notes.

And for more information, please visit ishouldroll.com. FInd us everywhere on social media at IShouldRoll. And don’t forget to leave us a review.

I Should Roll is an intergalactic Improv Initiative production. This fan podcast is a transformative work and is not affiliated with Electronic Arts or BioWare. 

Thank you for listening. Have a pleasant day.